Why?

Why would I waste my time with a blog about the bastardization of the Philadelphia staple?

1. I have wasted more time with dumber ideas.

2. There are just too many of these bastardizations that I need to share with the world. You're welcome.

In my travels around this great nation, I have made it a point to pick up menus from every establishment I came across in every town I've visited. I have cringed at what unsuspecting people consider to be an authentic cheesesteak, and it is time to set the record straight. A REAL Philly (and real cheesesteak places do NOT call them Philly) cheesesteak consists of meat, cheese, and bread, with fried onions always a proper option. This blog will basically be a photo essay of menus offering so-called "cheesesteaks", "Cheese-Steaks", and dreaded "Philly Subs", and all the wrong toppings added to them. There will be the occasional photo of the actual mess a restaurant tries to pass off as the real thing, but only if I see another diner eating one. I refuse to waste my money on a fraud sandwich.

I welcome you to contribute your own nightmare menu description of the beloved sandwich. Send contributions to notacheesesteak@gmail.com

Let's Kick Things Off...

Our inaugural misteak is brought to you courtesy of the long closed Chelsea Street Pub and Grill. This restaurant was located in the Coronado Mall in Albuquerque, NM. The menu was chosen because it was the first one I pulled out of my menu file, which is essentially a cabinet stuffed with shopping bags full with menus. Menus are fun to read, but they don't make for good decoration.

And here we have the number one cheesesteak misnomer: bell peppers. A real cheesesteak does not come with bell peppers, but it seems like the majority of the country believes differently. It also seems like the majority of the country sends me feel-good emails that I need to pass on to keep the world happy, but I guess I forgot. Sorry, Cairo. Another thing wrong with this sandwich is the use of Swiss cheese. American, Provolone, Whiz are all acceptable. Swiss is not. John Kerry tried to order his cheesesteak with Swiss when visiting Pat's in Philadelphia. His campaign took a deep dive off a Swiftboat.